A Reflection of Twilight

My friend brought a copy of Twilight to my home, as instructed by me. A company of brave souls joined me in attempting to watch the film. We downloaded the Rifftrax to accompany the film the previous evening. Before watching the film, we went out for sandwiches to keep up our strength. The sun was setting when we put the DVD in the player and fired up the Rifftrax audio file. Allow me to establish that we watched the movie out of choice. Not all of the guests turned up, and I envy them. It is now night, and I feel my soul has been extinguished like our Sun.

I try to study the things I despise so I can back my opinions. However, I feel that studying Twilight any further then I previously had was a mistake. I did not need to waste nearly two hours of my lifetime watching awkward silences occasionally interrupted with vestigial dialogue. I would like to thank the comedic commentary of the men at Rifftrax, for it softened a heavy blow upon my sanity. I have had more fun sitting silently in a chair contemplating many things. I have been more entertained by watching the change in reflection of a slowly rotating prism. I have been more interested in learning about the supreme court cases that have influenced the Constitution. I have been more fulfilled after scratching furiously at a mosquito bite. The story was as engaging as Mindless Self Indulgence is family friendly.

There is not a lot to say about what occurred in the movie, because there was not a lot that happened in the movie. We are welcomed by the sight of a deer, and rapidly switched shots of it being chased by an invisible predator. Then, we are introduced to Isabella (Sorry, that sounds stupid. I meant Bella.) clutching a cactus. She soon stops holding the cactus like a teddy bear before going to school. There she meets the only other major characters, the Cullens. Edward's speech patterns are akin to a sick, monotone Christopher Walken, not that Bella is any better at communicating. There are hints that Edward is not human, like being able to stop a speeding vehicle in a parking lot with his hand when he was standing casually many feet away moments before. (Why a car was speeding in a parking lot we will never know.) This does not appear to set off any red flags. She looks for answers for what Ed is only after feeling his cold hand in his car. After identifying he is a vampire as fast as the police department can determine who the prime suspect of a murder is, she starts to date him. After a brush with some more “savage” vampires, Ed feels that Bella's life is threatened. This is coming from a vampire who likes to watch her sleep. (On the other hand, he thinks that sparkling skin is the “skin of a killer”.) The savage vampire with a ponytail infects her with a bite, and Ed sucks out the poison. Stephanie did not do her homework, because if it doesn't work with snake venom it won't work with vampire AIDS.

When the movie came to a close, I was not happy that it ended. While I no longer had to endure the pain, I needed revenge. And revenge is exactly what I got.

A Twilight DVD as it should be. Straight out of the microwave.

New Developments.

I have set up my portfolio on my website. However, I need more work. So, I went to the Voice Acting Club forums last night and found an audition for a Full Dub of the Final Fantasy Seven game. Here's to hoping I get Hojo.

Oh, and I'll start to write longer blog entries that aren't just articles and the like when I'm aware I have people actually reading.

An Article About a Peer

In a city high school, a young man rushes out of his classroom to attempt to shove a young woman before rushing back into the classroom. He doesn't do it with much force, just enough to move her aside. Why does this young man display such immature behavior? Is this how one should treat someone that they dislike? This couldn't have gone without consequence in a high school. What is the story, here?

The young man is Dan Nguyen. Not only has he shoved this young woman into a locker, but he has also kicked her. However, these actions are not an everyday occurrence of two people just toying around; Dan intends to cause her harm. And Dan feels he has an adequate reason for assaulting her. But this does not start from the school year. One must look back to when Dan was enrolled in the SU summer program.

Dan has shown that he can become obsessed with certain individuals. He perpetuated the grade school act of writing the name of anyone he is infatuated with in a notebook while in the summer program, and has expressed the desire to put these pages on his dorm wall. This pales in comparison to the rest of his actions. Dan went into another dorm, and as two individuals watched, he proceeded to sniff the underwear and the pillow of a peer. Dan has also threatened a peer with a key to the neck due to the pasting of flower stickers on his dorm room door. He did the same to another peer who was inviting himself over into his dorm room. These actions were retold, and in some cases they were dramatized. Some have stated that he has gone on “panty raids”, which is untrue. Allegedly he also rolled around in a pile of underwear, but this is also false.

He has stated he desired to end the life of a number of individuals. They will not be named in this article. Dan does not like them usually for selfish reasons, ranging from if someone is dating his love interest at the time to allegedly spreading rumors about him. He has even gone as far as searching in Google Maps street view for days to find the home of one of these persons. There is one individual he hates the most. His only reason is that she has allegedly spread rumors about him. This is that young woman he has kicked and shoved. He has said that he wants to give her “a moral lesson”.

All of this has orchestrated one end for Dan. I have not interviewed him because I have already been told what he has been saying. He is attempting to take back everything he has done or said, but it is too late to deny anything has happened.

Afterword...
I have only told as much as I am sure of. I have conducted interviews and gathered screen shots, and I have used these pieces of evidence as the basis for what I think is the truth told in this article. I have ceased all efforts to gather information about Dan after the publication of this article. Whether or not he has changed is your call, but I keep this piece of writing as an example of one of (hopefully many) journalistic pursuits. And, for the record, I do not condemn nor protect Dan's reputation.

Barbecue Chicken Hot Pocket and Buffalo Wing Pierogi Review

In the world of commercialized America, there is a special section devoted to feeding us. With its own set of logos, avatars and catch phrases it plans to take our money in order to feed the ones who are too lazy to buy the materials needed to make the same thing and assemble it ourselves. Which may save us money in the long run, I'll have to try that out. But first, I must embrace my laziness and try any amount of food that is sold to us. With so many flavors to choose from, how could I determine what to try first?

I was in the mood for chicken, so I decided to eat "Barbecue Chicken Hot Pockets" as well as buffalo wing "The Pierogi Guy" brand pierogies I got from the farmer's market. Buffalo wings, a simple favorite loved by football fans, D&D players and office workers alike. And who doesn't love anything with barbecue sauce? Either flavor should be chicken with sauce, who can mess that up? And so, I fired up the top burner on the oven and readied the microwave.

I nuked the Hot Pockets for two minutes, because I truly feel the one minute and forty-five seconds duration the instructions give you is a lie. As always with these Hot Pockets, the first bite was bread. After taking a large enough bite, I tasted some sauce in there with the bread. It's actually pretty decent sauce. Not that I expected any less, it's pretty hard to screw up. The chicken tastes like chicken, if you can taste it despite the ludicrous amounts of sauce they put in. It's good to know we're getting what's advertised. Despite the recession, these Hot Pockets taste like they are made with actual ingredients and not cheap imitation filler. My trust in the company has returned.

I like my pierogies, among other things, fried. I probably get the most use out of a frying pan and some oil than any other way to cook food in the house. Which is how I cooked these chicken-filled delights. The instructions told me to not fry it for too long, because the chicken was already cooked. Again, I don't follow instructions. I fried them until they were like fat french fries, and put them on some paper towel to soak up the oil and then got myself a drink. I still had the Hot Pocket sauce aftertaste in my mouth, and I had to wash it out. I took a bite of a pierogi, and sure enough there was chicken in there. It tasted the way buffalo wings should taste. Granted, the damn things were so hot I could barely chew on them. So I tore them apart so the heat could escape from its crispy prison. That was only my fault, and I'm paying for it in taste buds. It didn't matter anyway, because I am reviewing the filling and not the standard dumpling-like outside. They weren't at all bad, I enjoyed them before my taste buds went numb.

I have determined that if you truly wish to enjoy chicken, just go out and buy it. Don't let a third party come in between you and your barbecue or buffalo wings. Unless you want to eat it in a different fashion, it's all you're going to be eating anyway. I tip my hat off to the Hot Pockets company and The Pierogi Guy, who didn't fail to respectfully bring me delicious barbecue and buffalo chicken.

Everything's Under Construction...

I'm in no hurry to get things done. I'm really giving my site and blog a good thinking through. Doesn't hurt to be professional, right?