Barbecue Chicken Hot Pocket and Buffalo Wing Pierogi Review

In the world of commercialized America, there is a special section devoted to feeding us. With its own set of logos, avatars and catch phrases it plans to take our money in order to feed the ones who are too lazy to buy the materials needed to make the same thing and assemble it ourselves. Which may save us money in the long run, I'll have to try that out. But first, I must embrace my laziness and try any amount of food that is sold to us. With so many flavors to choose from, how could I determine what to try first?

I was in the mood for chicken, so I decided to eat "Barbecue Chicken Hot Pockets" as well as buffalo wing "The Pierogi Guy" brand pierogies I got from the farmer's market. Buffalo wings, a simple favorite loved by football fans, D&D players and office workers alike. And who doesn't love anything with barbecue sauce? Either flavor should be chicken with sauce, who can mess that up? And so, I fired up the top burner on the oven and readied the microwave.

I nuked the Hot Pockets for two minutes, because I truly feel the one minute and forty-five seconds duration the instructions give you is a lie. As always with these Hot Pockets, the first bite was bread. After taking a large enough bite, I tasted some sauce in there with the bread. It's actually pretty decent sauce. Not that I expected any less, it's pretty hard to screw up. The chicken tastes like chicken, if you can taste it despite the ludicrous amounts of sauce they put in. It's good to know we're getting what's advertised. Despite the recession, these Hot Pockets taste like they are made with actual ingredients and not cheap imitation filler. My trust in the company has returned.

I like my pierogies, among other things, fried. I probably get the most use out of a frying pan and some oil than any other way to cook food in the house. Which is how I cooked these chicken-filled delights. The instructions told me to not fry it for too long, because the chicken was already cooked. Again, I don't follow instructions. I fried them until they were like fat french fries, and put them on some paper towel to soak up the oil and then got myself a drink. I still had the Hot Pocket sauce aftertaste in my mouth, and I had to wash it out. I took a bite of a pierogi, and sure enough there was chicken in there. It tasted the way buffalo wings should taste. Granted, the damn things were so hot I could barely chew on them. So I tore them apart so the heat could escape from its crispy prison. That was only my fault, and I'm paying for it in taste buds. It didn't matter anyway, because I am reviewing the filling and not the standard dumpling-like outside. They weren't at all bad, I enjoyed them before my taste buds went numb.

I have determined that if you truly wish to enjoy chicken, just go out and buy it. Don't let a third party come in between you and your barbecue or buffalo wings. Unless you want to eat it in a different fashion, it's all you're going to be eating anyway. I tip my hat off to the Hot Pockets company and The Pierogi Guy, who didn't fail to respectfully bring me delicious barbecue and buffalo chicken.